I'm in denial, I feel sick, but it's real...

Grab your Kleenexes people, this one is a tear jerker...

The first moment I learned you were on your way, I loved you. The entire time I waited for you to arrive, I loved you. The first time I ever laid eyes on you, I loved you. The first time I held you, I loved you. I love you more with each passing day.



Dear Ian,

Wow! I do not even know where to start. I sit here tonight writing this as you are upstairs sweetly sleeping. Tomorrow begins the first day of the rest of your life. You start kindergarten, a new chapter in your life. You are so super excited. I think you might be a bit nervous as well, but mostly excited. You had a hard time falling asleep, just like mommy. The night before a big event, I can never fall asleep easily. Mommy and Daddy love you so very much, more than you could ever know. You are such a special little boy. You are such a joy to be around, you are friendly, loving, caring and tenderhearted. You are the funniest guy I know. It both breaks my heart and fills me with pride to see the big boy that you are becoming. I am excited to see what you are growing into, yet sad for the little boy you are leaving behind. You bring such joy to our lives. Not just us, but everyone who knows you. I thought sending you to pre-school last year was going to be hard, it was but you had such a great time. You grew, you learned so much and you matured. You made so many friends and you had fun. Now it is time for us to take you for your first day of Kindergarten. I honestly do not know how Daddy and I are going to hold it together long enough to say goodbye to you. It is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We do not want you to see us upset so that will be tomorrow's challenge. I'm so glad that it is not on the agenda for tonight because I'm not doing such a great job. As soon as I put the pen to the paper, the tears began to freely flow. This time I did not try to hold them back. This week has been hard. Each time we have talked about school, it has gotten harder. Shopping for shoes was fun, you picked out Star Wars shoes and I handled that well. Clothes shopping was a bit harder for me. Seeing you in your little uniform nearly sent me into hysterics but I somehow held it together for you. Picking out a backpack and lunch kit made it seem more real. Meeting your teacher and seeing your name on things around the room solidified it for me. I knew it was real. I am still having trouble accepting it. I'm in denial, I feel sick, but it's real...What am I going to do for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week without my best friend? I love you more than you'll ever know! You're the BEST!

Here it comes again...