Saturday, August 27, 2011

Happy Birthday "E"

It seems so hard to believe that it has been 3 years since you came into our lives. It seems like only yesterday in so many ways, yet it seems like you have always been a part of our family. You light up the room when you walk in. You are the love of my life, my youngest baby boy.

On the morning when you were born, I only saw you for a split second before you were rushed away to the NICU. You were nearly a month early and were having trouble breathing. My heart stopped when they took you away.

After you were born, I did not get to see you right away. They wisked you away and I had to wait a while before I could go see you. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I just wanted to know that you were ok. My precious baby boy was down the hall and I had no way of getting to you.

The first time I saw you with all of the breathing machines and tubes, I cried. I just wanted to hold you, hug you and kiss you. We were not even allowed to touch you for the first few days, it seemed like a lifetime.



Every day I came down to sit with you. I sat beside your bed and talked to you. I told you how much I loved you and how much I wanted to pick you up and take you home with me.



It broke my heart not having you in my room, in my bed and in my arms. I could only sit near you. You got stronger by the day. I will never forget having to leave you at the hospital when it was time for me to go home. I cried all the way home, all the way through dinner and cried myself to sleep. I did not want to leave you there. It hurt my heart.



Soon, it was time to bring you home. You were a tiny little baby. The smallest I had ever had. You weighed 6 pounds and 3 ounces when you were born but when we brought you home, you were barely 5 pounds and a few ounces.



You were and always will be the love of my life, my baby boy.



You are growing up way too fast.



But you told me that you will always be my baby.



It hurts my feelings that you are getting to be a big boy. Even though you are really not that big, you are still my, "little guy." Or "Wittle guy" as you say.



It seems like only a few months ago, we were taking your 18 month pictures.



You still make this face.



You still love trains. As a matter of fact, I think you love them more now. We have to pull over when we get to the rail road crossing to wait for choo choos because you love to see them pass.



You are quite the funny little guy. You make us all laugh.



You love to play and have fun.



Especially with "I" he is your best friend. It warms my heart to see how much you love your brothers and sisters.



You are Mommy's little monkey.



You are beautiful, inside and out. You will be the first to tell someone, "I cute!"



Sometimes I tell you that it is a really good thing that you are cute. You are nothing like any of your siblings. You keep us on our toes and we wouldn't have it any other way. You are busy, you are all boy. You get into everything. We cannot turn our backs on you for a second. When we do, you come out of a bathroom naked and covered with diaper rash cream, or silver sharpie...



I won't lie, I was afraid of how you would adjust to having a baby sister around the house. I had no idea of how you would react. I worried for nothing. You loved your baby from the moment you met her. You adore her.



You hug her, kiss her and want to hold her. You play with her, you scold me for not getting to her fast enough and tell me, "Mommy, "L" wants you." Or if you do not think I am getting to her fast enough you tell me that I need to feed her.



You knew she was your baby from the moment you laid eyes on her. You protect her and love her. I love to see you with her. I love when you ask, "Can I kiss her?" It melts my heart.



You truly are the sweetest baby boy ever.



You were a happy baby boy. I do not think you ever cried. You loved to smile.



You make me smile when I think about you. You are confident. You are loyal. You are kind. You are caring. You are sweet. You are loud. You are crazy. You are silly. You are one of a kind.



You love Disney World and you have been 3 times. You did not want to come home from our last trip. You still ask daily when we get in the car if we are going to Disney World and you tell us that you, "Want to take a picture with Mickey Mouse." You are obsessed with Mickey Mouse. All things Mickey Mouse. I think you have a crush on Daisy.



You are sure of yourself. You are brave. You like to play alone. You love your toys. You love everything choo choo, Mickey Mouse, animals and especially dogs and cats.



I never would have imagined that you would be going to pre-school this year, but you begged. You cried to go to school. I cannot imagine how hard it is going to be on the first day when I have to drop you off and leave you there. I am going to miss you terribly but I know you are going to have a great time. You love to make friends and play with kids.



You still love cake.



I love you more each day. Some days my heart hurts because I love you so much. When I think of how fast you are growing up it makes me sad.



When someone asks you how old you are going to be on your birthday, you tell them either, "18" or "6" years old. You crack me up.



You are a wonderful little brother, you love your older siblings so much. You have a special relationship with each of them.



You make my heart smile.



You have "H" wrapped around your little finger. He will carry you wherever you want to go, for as long as you want him to.



You are a rough and tough little guy. You have had more bumps, scrapes and bruises than all of the other kids put together I am sure.



You are the sweetest little guy ever. You are cuddly and snuggly. I hope you never change.



You are the center of my world and I love you with all of my heart.



You are a photo crasher! And a camera ham.



You love your mommy.



and Daisy Duck.



You love your daddy too.



You have the sweetest little face I have ever seen.



Your favorite thing to is play with your brothers. It makes me smile.



You make me smile. You are my hero.



I hope you are always as happy as you are now. You enjoy life to the fullest and have no worries. You love to have fun and you are considerate of others. I am not sure how that is possible at your age but it is true. You have such a sweet spirit. You give to others to make them happy. Your voice makes my heart skip a beat. Your laugh warms my heart. Your smile makes me weak in the knees. Your hug tells me that all is right in the world. Your kiss lets me know you love me.

I hope one day you will know just how very much I love you, how happy I am that you are mine and how I would do anything for you.

I never knew what real love could be until I was a mother. Nothing else in the world matters.

I love you with all of my heart and soul.

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