Not My Child! Monday

This week, we are doing a little something different again, remember Not my child! Monday? Did you almost die of embarrassment when your child yelled from across a friend's pool, "Can I just pee in the pool?" Want to pull your hair out when you found gum in your dog's hair? Well don't! Mothers aren't perfect and neither are children. Let's 'fess up today because it's Not my child! Monday!

A few weeks ago, it was not my child that declared, "That scared the crap out of me!" Nope, not my child, we do not use words like that!

It was not the same child that asked what was for lunch one day, I answered, "rice." To which he asked, "Pople (Chipotle) rice?" When I said no, it was rice from home, he declared, "You gotta be kiddin' me!"

It was also not my child (yep, the same one) that told me, "Mommy, I'm still not Sour Apple's brother!" I say, "Why not?" To which I hear, "Cuz he still beez mean da me!" Well, alrighty then!

A few months back when we discovered a cracked toilet lid, it was not my precious child that automatically began blaming daddy for the broken lid, wanting to know why daddy broke the toilet, and if daddy broke it with his butt and then said, "Dang, Daddy has a strong butt!" (sidenote...it was not then me who laughed hysterically!)

It was not that same child that said (out loud, I might add) that he wished daddy could have a baby in his tummy!

And finally, it is not all of my children who are tucked soundly in their beds AND sleeping tonight BEFORE 8:30pm! Nope, not my kids! I am not that lucky and they are certainly not that tired!

Hope you enjoyed the twist on the Monday confessions, if you did, head on over to MckMama's and see what everyone else's kids have not been doing! I am sure you will be glad you did!

Not me my child! Monday

This week there is a new spin on Not me! Monday. It is called "Not my child!" Monday. Since most of the things our children do (or do not do) embarrass us terribly, this should be fun!



Friday, the last day of Vacation Bible School (or Bacation Bible School as it was not so lovingly called) the church kept the water bouncies up for a few extra hours for the volunteers and their children. While waiting in line to do a long bouncy slip and slide, it was not my child who yelled from across the way while starting to pull his bathing pants (as he called them) down, "Mommy! Can I just pee right here?"



It was not my child who came downstairs the other night with all 10 of his fingers covered in black ink! It was not my other child, who put the ink on his little brother's fingers, trying to do a crime scene investigation. It was then not my husband (I know, this was not part of the game) who went sprinting up the stairs like his hair was on fire to find out what the black stuff was AND where the black stuff was!



It was not my child who refused to sleep at the beginning of the week, even though he should have known his mommy was worn out from being responsible for 24 2nd and 3rd graders at VBS. It was not the same child that was taken to the doctor to find out he had 2 ear infections! No wonder the poor little guy could not sleep!



It was not either one of my small children that could be heard from 'round the world on any given morning last week around 8:30am CST while being dropped off in their rooms at the church. Geez...not my kids! They are used to being dropped off by now and they would never scream like wild animals, gnash their teeth or hang on to their mommy with both hands and feet and have to be pulled off!



This is fun...I could go on and on...my kids are perfect so I know it is not my children we are talking about here.



It is not my child that had a summer reading project that he was supposed to be doing and has not come anywhere near completing it. Nope, not my kid! He does not have to go back to school on August 13th and this is not for a major grade.



Speaking of school, it is not my precious little angel of a 4 year old that will be starting pre-school this year. Nope, not mine. Good thing too because there is just no way his mommy or daddy could take that. Wow, glad we are not those parents.

Yesterday, it was not my oldest child that fixed a bowl of dry cereal for the middle boy child, who then proceeded to spill the dry cereal all over the living room floor. Then, it was not my dog (I know, it is not called that...just wait for it) and my youngest child who turned and sprinted (or crawled very quickly) toward the cereal covered living room floor. It was not my precious sweet baby boy who began to, as quickly as he could, gobble up the cereal from the floor like he had not eaten in days, along with the dog by his side. It was not my older boys that began to immediately clean up the mess, (WHAT??? Without even being asked!) which made the baby boy flip out like someone was taking the last bit of food that he might ever get to eat. My oldest boy did not then just proceed to make a small pile of dry cereal in front of the baby so he could clean up the rest of the food. What? We do not feed the baby stuff from the floor! What was he thinking! It was then not me who saved the baby from heartache and scooped him up to put him in his highchair with more cereal, clean out of the box this time, while telling him, "Honey, we are not so poor yet that you have to eat dirty cereal from the floor and enjoy it."

I am sure I could think of many more things that it was not my children doing...but since this is the first installment, I do not want to overwhelm you! Now...hop on over to MckMama's and see what her kids, and everyone else's kids have not been caught doing.